i wonder if i should keep my mouth shut more often. because it seems to be the way that people can read my thoughts.

i wonder if i should care more about my own interests and well being than caring about others'. because in the end, i get hurt and upset- and no one appreciates my thoughtfulness.

i wonder if i should just wash my memory clean of everything i've learn to care for. because it has come to my attention that giving and giving has made me very tired, i need some care to.

i wonder if i should ever really start believing in God full time again. because it seems to me that is such an uphill task to do. instead of givin me some richness in the soul. its draining my every single drop of hope.

i wonder if i should ever believe anything of the world. because, after so much self coaxing, and convincing, i trust my heart out on the truth of that. but the moment i do so, i find i am just a fool again.

i wonder if i should even exist on this planet. because afterall, my existence makes no difference to significant people who are otherwise, to me.

i wonder if i should give up on this strange thing called love. because after all. its selfish. blah blah. and everyone's just a sucker for some lovin.

i wonder if i should give up hope on my one aim in life- to be happy. because afterall thats happened. i still evaluate myself as unhappy.

i wonder if i should give up conscious state of my mind. because i would find more peace sleeping my days through.

i wonder if i should believe that tarot card reading. because, my past and present predictions were so right. i couldnt help but feel scared that the future is what it's prescribed it to be.

i wonder if i should give up waiting. because i am screwing my own life projecting the past for the future. (i dont know what im talking about)

i wonder if i should wonder at all. because wondering is just a piece of shit activity. nothing's so certain bout wondering.

i wonder if i should just dissolve thoughts of *******************. because of a trillion and one reasons. the hate was momentary.

i am just buried in the bottomless pit of regret.