its 4am now.. i duno what im doin online.. sianz.

my mind's stil unstable.. i come to terms with reality for like 1 min.

then go back to the irritated and depressed self of mine.

what the hell is wrong with me.

i try to smile and think of other things.

but the list gets ehxausted and i start thinking of next year.

"dont think too much"

yes. need to do that more often.

i'll probably drive myself nuts thinking non-stop.

everymoment of my life im thinking.

thinking and thinking.

what if.

too many what ifs.

i watched my lovely san-soon.

its a nice show. touching love story.

but its realistic. in a sense that

the pretty gal dosent always win the the guy in the end.

its comforting to see the determination of people.

and it kinda inspires me. sigh.

sometimes i wish i cld do things on my own.

go vent my stress on something.

but what.

zzz. im tired. but i jus have this urge to blog.

i keep thinking of that guy in the show. ah san.

follows his heart.

i want to follow my heart.

sighs.

now. i feel as if im walking a different road.

i know i must walk on alone.

even with the encouragement of the world.

the walk will still be my own.

its going to be hard.

so many fears i have hidden in my heart.

i jus wish it was easier.

my path is always laden with obstacles.

too many for me to handle.

i know whats coming.

but i dont know how to face whats coming.

sighs.

sometimes i feel so ashamed of myself.

from primary school.

i was never the consitent top or above average student.

its very frustrating.

my parents dont give my pressure.

but i feel that i have let them down.

i really do. i know in their heart it hurts alot to see me suffer.

but sighs. i really feel as if i've let them down.

they cant show off my grades in front of others.

that kind of stuff.

argh.

damn it..

GOD.... WTH ARE U DOIN.

is this ur idea of testing me?

well it isnt very easy. and its not funny.

sighs.

damn it.

sighs. i'll retire for the long day.

♥ you and i both loved

amelia

aquarius/capricon. 9teen. NP acc yr 3.


xFrAnKyx
RuIfAnG
JaciNta
GuoJie
GraCe TaN
JuN HaO
khoO BoOn
AleNe
G*dInE
YaoMiNg
crystle
Des
magg
nura
weIlIng
JiA mInG
QiJiAN

& ARCHIVES

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