April 04, 2005 @10:36 PM
hmmm.. wells, this is it. the first time im bloggin in a freaking long time.
my mood is foul.
what i thought would be a good start to the holidays was actually a wrong perception from me.
sighs. it was great the whole day, i had steam boat with james and all that.
but then, after my dinner.
i recieved a message form my brother and sister. telling me botuthe situation at home.
sighs.
it goes like this.
my adaptor spoiled again( hgow unlucky can i get???)
and i thought i could resolve it my own way.
i brought it to the bloody mel centre and then.
guess what, they said this kinda fault isnt covered uinder their warranty.
wt.....????
i was absolutely angry.
sighs.
i guess everything seemd to be rather hazy still.
sighs.
from the moment i stepped into the house.
my dad yelled at me,
yelled.
just yelled.
like a madman.
i duno why im blogging this.
but i guess i needed to get this out of my system.
and guess what i did?
i yelled back.
everytime he yelled at me.
i yelled back.
i was so angry tears jus flowed, streaming down my cheeks.
i breathed so heavily that if anyone of u guys saw me, u would instantly jus run away.
i could break 5 pencils with just one hand.
and another surprise of the century
when i tried to explain.
he didnt wana listen.
when he talked. i just looked out of the window.
rude i know. but. i guess u got torespect others before u can get them to respect u.
he threatened to beat me.
i told him i wasnt scared.
evil i know.
but then, in my mind,
if he did.
i would never forgive him this entire lifetime.
im the type of person who will not take things lying down.
i will not let others put me down.
i will not let others bully me.
even if it was my own father.
...
the entire scene's stil gg round my head.
my bro, sis and mom, all trying to reason with the stubborn ox.
he jus kept yelling back.
the whole house was in such dischord!
sighs.
my head now hurts.
..
i feel like crying.
but i realli got no more tears left.
i got no energy.
i blasted the last few bits on the bathroom wall.
now my knuckles all swollen and kinda bruised.
but " emotional pain is nothing compared to physical pain"
now i reali understand the meaning of this statement.
..
i must apologise if my entry is so negative and so full of angst.
but argh.
i reali haven felt this way in such a long time.
the last time i felt this way was when sheryl aw ying ying backedstabbed me.
i was so angry that i nearly beat the hell out of her.
argh.
.. the more i think of this, the more angry i get,
my sister out of good will tried to help speak up for me. so did my bro and my mom.
but that "person" jus asked them to shut up.
he told me that i should have consulted him.
but if i did. he would have reacted the same way. this is the precise reason why i dun wana let him know.
sighs.
its gg to be a cold war. for the next few i duno until when la.
drats.
im gg to go out everyday.
im not telling them im having holiday.
if not im gg to have to dee his face so often.
..
sobs.
sobs.
sobs.
.
.
.
.
.
"ni ku zhe dui wo shuo, tong hua li dou shi pian ren de"
"dan lei cha gan, hui hao yi dian"
