November 12, 2004 @2:53 PM
sitting here on front of my laptop.. i suddenly feel sad.. sigh.. why? well, great boyfren, great pals, family.. etc.. but then.. there's omething much deeper and much closer to m soul that makes me real upset and confused.. the same question i struggled with weeks ago.. is there God? if he's reali there.. then why are all these things happening in the world? why all this problems? * and i know what some wld say* life isnt a bed of roses.. this is ur cross u hav to carry.. but then.. i dun see my other fellow frens in my kind of state? hai~ i already lost half my faith during that time.. and now? shoots* its fading real fast.. sigh.. and guys(fr church) dun bother to lecture me bout god.. hai.. hw u expect me to believe in something that isnt working for me? believe .. its faith? huh.. right.. 17years of believing.. and this is the pile of crap he heaps on me.. damn.. sinkin into this confused state again.. argh.. i cant even be at peace with what i believe in.. and whats the thing bout True files man? showing that Kang's case? something's seriously gone wrong.. advertising stuff like that on tv? hey.. god, if u're reading this.. do something bout this ya? if this is what u wana see happen to all ur creations.. then.. i got nothing to say man.. hai.. depressed entry.. argh.... i guess half f u guys reading this wun understand what im talking bout.. but.. i just got to get this out.. paiseh.. yea..
⥠you and i both loved
